That’s the real question – how many people are actually happy to be single, or “self-partnered”, like Emma Watson stated in her latest BBC interview?
Why would I like to dedicate a special blog to the Singles Day celebration? There are some very good reasons to do so. Prior to Miranda and I starting the journey to encouraging Sustainability and creating a Green Voucher Codes website, I had co-founded and successfully headed a technology company for the best part of 14 years, with our main focus being online dating technology.
Although never operating our own dating websites, our white label online dating technology hosted more then 30,000 online dating websites worldwide, all in different languages and geo locations. So, I guess you could say I know a little trick or two in how the online dating world actually works…
Why “being Single” does not always mean “looking for someone’.
I was very fortunate to be brought up by one amazing woman – my great aunt. While my parents were very busy working hours accounting to more than a full-time job, and my own grandma being rather unwell, my mum’s aunt kindly offered to lend a hand in the evenings during the school term to keep an eye on my little sister and I before my parents would come home, and I have very fond memories of spending many a summer holiday at her house too.
My great aunt was a former Head Mistress of a school, and with no kids of her own she was a single woman living alone, after her fiancée was sadly “missing in action” just as the Second World War came to a close, and she just had no desire to fall in love again.
So, she stayed single and enjoyed her life as much as she possibly could instead. She became an accomplished successful woman all on her own, and a role model for many of her School pupils, and of course for my sister and myself. I remember asking her why she did not get married and the answer was always – “I feel happier being single than being together with the wrong person. Plus, I just don’t have time!”
Many of us still feel the same way – while we are generally open to relationships, quite often we enjoy our independence and lifestyle so much that we are just not ready to commit to anyone. That is until the time is right…
I just want to take a moment here to honour the 11thof November Remembrance Day – Lest We Forget – for too many people lost their loved ones in action. One of the easy ways to support The Royal British Legion is to check out thier PoppyShop for great choice of gifts and many other useful things.
When is the right time to meet someone?
In my opinion, there is never a ‘right time’. I went through a phase of single motherhood with three kids. I was working 24/7 at the time, as the CEO of a large international business, and I just did not have the time for anything else. Plus, there was the overwhelming “never again” feeling that many of us I’m sure are familiar with. Working in Online Dating did not help either because somehow, “I have few million single men in our company database”, didn’t really cut it as a chat up line.
But then, unexpected as ever I bumped into someone by accident and I’ve been happily “stuck” with this amazing guy for the last 8 years. So – never say never!
They key is to enjoy it. If you feel happy being Single, focus on yourself, on your aspirations and your children, if you are a single parent. You really never know, maybe that person sitting opposite you on the train is “the One” for you? If not, you are enjoying your life anyway – a win, win. Just always keep that one eye open for the opportunities, don’t close your eyes to love completely.
Does Online Dating actually work?
If you’ve ever tried online dating, then I’m sure you’ve had the whole variety of opinions but very often I will hear “Online Dating does not work”. I personally disagree, as you may expect. Online Dating does work, and at the time of running our online dating technology, we were successfully connecting hundreds of thousands of couples through the websites and getting masses of positive feedback – I certainly did not build my success from nothing. Online Dating is really no different to what we call “offline dating” – meeting someone at your local pub, for example – Online Dating just gives you more available choice, but it still follows the same core 5 principles of safety and suscess in dating.
How to increase your success and stay safe in Online Dating?
There are many useful tips for the Online Dating Success and they definitely deserve a separate blog post, but I will focus on the Core 5 Online Dating principles which I’ve managed to summarise from my 14 years of running an Online Dating Technology business.
1. Make an effort to present yourself.
If you are going to the pub or out with your friends, you would normally dress up a little, wouldn’t you? The same applies to Online Dating. When you create your Online Dating profile, remember that you are creating a first impression of yourself, this is someone’s first glimpse into who you are, so you want to make it a good one. Try to describe yourself to show your personality and interests, good quality pictures always help too.
2. Don’t be scared to make a first move.
When you see someone across the room who you really like, it would normally be quite intimidating to just go up to that person and say hello. In most cases you can use your friends, and friends of friends, to find out some background before an introduction. Well consider Online Dating Site’s your Friend! Everyone on the website is open to a relationship (great – we know they’re available) and they are most probably expecting someone to contact them because they would have made an effort to create a good Online Dating profile in order to attract. They may have not contacted you first but that is not unexpected, often people on dating sites are there because of convenience and genuine luck of free time. So, don’t worry too much and just go for it! If you get “no” back, so what? They did not say it to your face, they said it through your Friend – the Online Dating Website – and there is absolutely nothing ‘embarrassing’ about it.
3. Use common sense and stay safe.
Sometimes, we hear stories on the news about online dating scammers and some of the scary things that have happened to people who met online. And yes, bad things can happen, but bad things can happen in any scenario. It’s a matter of applying the same common sense that you would normally use it in day today life. You would not hand over your bank details to a near stranger in the pub, would you? If someone gave you a sad story on the street you would probably feel somewhat suspicious and take appropriate caution, right?
The same applies to Online Dating. No person with honest intentions will ask for money before they meet you or even get to know you. Even if the person is in desperate need. If you feel that you want to help someone, possibly the potential Love of Your Life from abroad, then make the commitment and meet them first, NEVER send money for someone to travel to you. This advice, above all else, is the most important after 14 years in Online Dating Industry: NEVER send money to ANYONE before you meet him or her in person. Even just the reaction to your offer to come and meet them will give you a good indicator about their true intentions If you still feel that you want to help someone and send them money, you have got to be prepared to take a full risk of never seeing that person or your money ever again.
The same applies to your personal safety. Always arrange your first meeting in the public place and make sure that a person close to you knows where you are going and who you are meeting. There is no harm in asking your potential date to show a form of ID, a driving licence for example. Especially, if you are a woman about to go on a date alone. If your potential date is an honest person, they will see no harm in showing their ID or at least sending you their Facebook profile. Of course, do keep in mind that Facebook profiles can be faked, as can IDs so use good judgement. Pass the information to your trusted friend before you go on the date and if you feel something is just not quite right, rearrange. It is definitely better to be safe then sorry here.
4. Use paid dating websites.
This is some advice that I can sign off with every word. Use paid dating websites over free dating websites. While Tinder is dominating the world, always remember about the “easy come easy go” feel of it. Of course, if it’s what you are looking for then that’s great and go for it but remember the ‘meeting in a public place and informing your friends’ tip – it could save your life.
Free dating websites tend to have some-what limited verification methods. Yes, the App once download connects to the telephone number but getting cheap top up Sim is easy and setting up fake Apple ID is not massively difficult either if you wished to do so. Paid websites have way more information about the person who is using them, including credit card and billing address information meaning people are much easier to track in the event of a scam for example. There is definitely an extra layer of security and protection there. Also, if a person has made an effort to create a quality profile and actually pay for an Online Dating Website Membership, you rely on this as more proof that they actually have the intentions to meet someone! My top Online Dating Website recommendation for singles with serious intentions would be eHarmony
5. There will always be another opportunity!
If you followed all of the advice, created a good Online Dating Profile, stayed active on the Online Dating Website, used all the tips and safety advice and bagged yourself a first date and then you find that they are not ‘The One’, don’t worry too much and don’t break your heart because of it. There are millions of single people out there and there is always another chance to meet your someone special online.
There is always a “short cut”. Why not try Flirty Dating? You dont have to take things too seriously, just a quick registration can offer you a fun, entertaining evening. You may even get your Christmas Date sorted from the first go? Check out the latest BeChoosie.com voucher codes and offers , find your next date, pick out your best outfit and go for it!
What is Singles Day?
Singles Day or Guanggun Jie is a shopping holiday popular among young Chinese people that celebrate their pride in being single. The date, November 11th (11/11), was chosen because the number "1" resembles an individual who is alone.
If you’re not looking to date at all and just want to make the most of your Single status, enjoy your personal freedom and take advantage of the Singles Day discounts and deals. You see, being single is not a negative, you’re already better off than most of your friends who are not single. YOU HAVE A CHOICE in front of you and you don’t need to ask anyone or feel guilty if you decide to spend money on yourself. Pick up that cruelty-free mascara and get 34 % OF with Exclusive Illamasque Single's Day voucher code, get up to 50 % OFF on Clarks shoes, treat yourself to those Swarovsky Crystal earrings that you always wanted and just go for it – or just go away with Just Go Holidays deals for every budget, or Just You Solo Adventures holidays to see and experience the world, because Singles Day is all about YOU being happy.
Tanya Larsen, mother of 3, keen gardener, world traveller and a business owner
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